2007年7月5日 星期四

2007/07/04, Snow Patrol - Set The Fire To The Third Bar/ Run


Belfast 14/02/06, SP @ Mandela Hall, Belfast. Ireland from official site

2007/07/04。 「不知道屬於我們的會是個怎樣的故事?」在一九九九年接近十二月27日的前幾天,那個人在寄給他的email上面問他。他不知道他們會有怎樣的故事。那時 他還沒決定要不要開始,他還不想決定他要不要相信自己已經愛上那個人了。他讓那個決定懸宕。那個人每天都寫email來,有時一天兩、三封,等待那個人的 email成了他終日唯一可以做的事。從第一封那個人就寫到:we are made for each other.他看了笑了起來,心底卻痛起來。他一個禮拜無法回覆他。六個多月過後,在2000年六月底在因為時差他整整一個月都沒辦法睡著,他異常疲憊的 回email給他:現在你知道屬於我們的故事會怎樣了,不是嗎?他想命早告訴他將往何處去,只是他想跟自己的生命賭個博,就算是他淪落到全盤皆輸。他知 道,他都知道,命早就寫好了,只是當那風剛吹起的瞬間,你要不要下那個決定,你要不要選擇相信。就算最後那個相信一如命的風吹起的瞬間:就算那不過就只是 彼此欺騙彼此的一場騙局。雖然那個人都沒對他說過謊。雖然他希望他說謊。這樣大家會比較好過一些,他想。雖然,那個人說的謊,在他還沒說之前,他就會已經 知道了。這超能力,是生命賜給他的最壞的禮物。雖然他從沒有真的對他說過謊,而悲慘地,這就是他痛苦那麼多年就是沒辦法不愛他的原因。他編了很多讓自己可 以繼續活下去的故事,在如此多年彼此完全沈默之後,他知道那痛苦終於已經離開了,那些他自己編的故事已經不再重要了。他不再繼續編造他們「之後」的故事。

當 我第一次聽到 Snow Patrol的Set The Fire To The Third Bar時,就像我第一次聽到Run那首歌──我聽了不下一百遍──的當下一樣(其愛爾蘭出身的主唱有個極其古怪的姓氏,Gary Lightbody), 不一樣是,不像那時,我沒在那之前想過命將帶我到哪裡去,一樣的是,那一切早就註定好了,就像風開始吹的瞬間,這兩首歌正是這個故 事的生命之歌,它們唱出我要寫的那個故事,那個他跟那個人,在他們的「之後」時期,所有他所編造讓自己可以活下去的故事背後,那故事最核心的痛。

我將,我會,寫下這個故事。

這 個故事將從他和那個人結束的地方開始──在兩千年五月的某個禮拜天,在巴黎的戴高樂機場前往登機門往上的電扶梯,他伸手擁抱那個人,他們抱的好緊,彼此忍 住不哭,他緊緊抱著他,舔他的耳朵,然後當他踏上前往登機門的電扶梯回頭看著他,他淚水掉下來眼前一片模糊,還是拼命要看著他直到再也看不到──然後在他 「之後」所有編造的故事最終的端點前方結束。


Snow Patrol - Set The Fire To The Third Bar from Eyes Open 2006

Snow Patrol - Run from Final Straw 2003






Set The Fire To The Third Bar (with Martha Wainwright)

I find the map and draw a straight line
Over rivers, farms, and state lines
The distance from here to where you'd be
It's only finger-lengths that I see
I touch the place where I'd find your face
My finger increases of distant dark places

I hang my coat up in the first bar
There is no peace that I've found so far
The laughter penetrates my silence
As drunken men find flaws in science

Their words mostly noises
Ghosts with just voices
Your words in my memory
Are like music to me

I'm miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold ground
And I, I pray that something picks me up
And sets me down in your warm arms

After I have travelled so far
We'd set the fire to the third bar
We'd share each other like an island
Until exhausted, close our eyelids
And dreaming, pick up from
The last place we left off
Your soft skin is weeping
A joy you can't keep in

I'm miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold ground
And I, I pray that something picks me up
And sets me down in your warm arms

And miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold ground
And I, I pray that something picks me up
And sets me down in your warm arms

Snow Patrol - Run

I'll sing it one last time for you
Then we really have to go
You've been the only thing that's right
In all I've done

And I can barely look at you
But every single time I do
I know we'll make it anywhere
Away from here

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

Louder louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say

To think I might not see those eyes
Makes it so hard not to cry
And as we say our long goodbye
I nearly do

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

Louder louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say

Slower slower
We don't have time for that
All I want is to find an easier way
To get out of our little heads

Have heart my dear
We're bound to be afraid
Even if it's just for a few days
Making up for all this mess

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear


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